The Song o' Cap'n Sam

I blame my boss for this one. It shall be sung upon request, but everyone has to join in on the chorus.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

Oh, come me hearties and listen to me
And I'll tell you a tale of the library
And a pirate who gave up the seven seas
To captain a reference desk.
His pirate heart was courageous and true
But he loved to answer a question or two
And so he decided the best thing to do
Was to give up the ocean
And all that commotion
And captain a reference desk.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

Back in his days as a bloodthirsty brute
He'd ask lots of questions to track down his loot
But then he decided a better pursuit
Was helping out eager young minds.
He went back to school and he got a degree -
A Masters in the Science of Libraries -
And moved to a city that's by the sea
And found some employment
That gives him enjoyment
By helping out eager young minds

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

A pirate librarian's life can be hard
There's lots of bad habits you have to discard
And there are some lib'ries from which he was barred
For running the customers through.
And some of his co-workers thought he was rude
His language was salty, insulting and crude -
His jokes about wenches were awfully lewd
And his reputation
Spread throughout the nation
For running his customers through.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

Then he found work in a strange little town
Where lots of peculiar librarians are found
Magicians, snake charmers and jugglers abound
And a gorilla named Algernon.
And no body minds if he's violent and crude
Or cares if he's heavily pierced and tattooed
And now he's a happy piratical dude
And he's sharing a flat
With a shelver called Matt
And a gorilla named Algernon.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

And now if you go to that town by the sea
And happen to visit the library
Don't be surprised if a pirate you see
When you go to the reference desk.
He'll answer your queries with quiet command
And a flash of his smile and a wave of his hand
The most dashing librarian in all the land
And it gives him pleasure
To help you find treasure
When you go to the reference desk.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can