The Dare

"Nobody reads The Iliad."

Helen had been telling me about the Kindle App, which she had downloaded onto her smartphone. With great excitement she told me she had already downloaded a few free books - including The Iliad.

(Kindle. App. Smartphone. I wonder how long it will be before those words become complete nonsense once again? A few years from now, will any part of what I've just written make sense apart from the words "book" and "Iliad"?)

I asked her why she went to the trouble of downloading a book she was never going to read.

"I am going to read it," she insisted, "I've been meaning to read it for years."
"You're a librarian. If you were going to read it you could have borrowed it long ago."
"But now I've got it on my phone, so I can just read it wherever I am."

I told her I thought portability was irrelevant. It wouldn't matter how easy it was to access, she still wouldn't read it - nobody reads The Iliad.

"People just download it because it's free and it makes them feel smart to think they might read it one day, but no one reads The Iliad unless they have to."
"Well, I'm going to read it."
"No you won't."
"I'm going to start it tonight!"
"Lots of people start reading it - that doesn't count. You won't finish it."
"I will!"

She almost looked like she believed it.

"Okay," I said, "in that case I dare you to read it."
"What?"
"I dare you to read The Iliad."
"You dare me to read this book?"
"All the way from start to finish. And on your phone. I'll give you... $7.50 if you finish it."
"That's ridiculous."
"It's enough to buy a small coffee and a piece of cake. Maybe. And now I've given you a reason to read The Iliad, and I still don't think you'll do it."

She stared at me, incredulously, for a moment. And then:

"All right, you're on."

I smiled, knowing my money was completely safe.

"You're not going to read The Iliad."

And so these little moments pass into our personal mythologies. A few weeks ago I was talking to another colleague about Greek mythology, and they mentioned The Iliad.

"I've never read The Iliad," said Bronwyn.
"Well," I replied, "No one ever does. A couple of years ago I dared Helen to read it."
"Oh, yeah," said Helen, "That's right, you dared me to read it on my phone..."
"And did you?" asked Bronwyn.
"Um. No."

Nobody reads the Iliad.