Word: Curses...

I would just like to say:

Darn you, Microsoft Word! Darn you to Heck!

May whoever changed your flaming bullet function so that it will not easily convert to a multilevel list after having been started as a single level list find the glue on his best pair of shoes is failing.

I do not want to re-write my list! I admit I wasn't paying attention when I first began this bullet point fiasco, but my needs are not exorbitant. All I want is to be able to change the list level based on my tab movements. All I want is to be able to highlight my current list and change the type of bullets from single level to multi-level so that such a thing may happen.

Why can this not be done? The old Word used to do it. Open Office does it with ease. Why am I doomed to manually push each new level to the point I desire without using my handy keyboard short cuts?

While I'm at it, may whoever changed the menus so that keyboard shortcuts I know and love are not longer logically related to the functions I desire find they left their favourite pen in their pocket when they did the washing.

It's not efficient, people! It's just not.

Word of the Day: Unicursal

Unicursal is, apparently, a mathematical term, but we shan't hold that against it.

In addition to mathematical what-nots, 'unicursal' is also used to describe a kind of maze, which makes it cool and interesting. Some may argue that, as a mathematical term, it was already cool and interesting. Those people are sad and deluded, but useful to have around so we shan't insult them too much.

'Unicursal' is an adjective which means Having, traversing, or being on one course or path (OED), and is apparently also used as a noun without taking on a nominative form, which is just dodgy if you ask me. You shouldn't be able to say "I'm following a unicursal at the moment and won't be able to speak to you until I finish", although I'm sure it's the sort of thing people would say all the time - seeing the propensity amongst human beings to forget that adjectival words are meant to describe the noun in the sentence, not be the noun.

Basically, the word 'unicursal' describes situations where there is only one path or direction to follow. A figure in which the whole is transcribed in one route - a maze in which there are no branches to follow and no wrong turns to take.

If my interpretation of the concept is correct, one should be able to undertake a unicursal route within any "true" maze, even if it is not technically a unicursal maze. I remember reading once that a "true" maze (according to the precepts of some obscure maze designing school) is one in which you could follow the wall and it would take you through every point of the maze and back out again. This is the origin of the theory that, if you get lost in a maze or a labyrinth, you should put one hand against a wall and follow it and you will eventually get out. These are also known as "branching" mazes - to separate them from island mazes, in which the walls don't all touch.

I have been in a number of branching mazes and one or two island mazes ("false" mazes?), and I can tell you that the branching mazes feel different, somehow. The island mazes just felt strangely random - as though there was no rhyme or reason to them - while the branching mazes felt like a controlled environment. It's almost as though you can feel the design. Even when you take the short-cuts, go up the wrong path, get horribly lost and somehow manage to get right through the maze without ever finding that damn target in the heart of the thing, you still feel as though you're following something. There's more of a sense of purpose to your movements. Plus, you always have that confidence that if you just follow the wall you'll eventually get out...

'Unicursal' is also used to describe any number of shapes created by a continuous line, such as the unicursal hexagram and a number of designs popular in Celtic themed art. Apparently, the Celts had quite a thing for unicursal patterns.

I suppose one could quite happily use the word 'unicursal' to describe any metaphoric journey in which someone could only follow one path - with no chance of branching off in any direction.

See if you can use it sometime this week.

Finish What You Started - Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle and A Princess of Mars

As mentioned at some point, I have actually managed to finish a few of my half-finished reads since beginning Project Finish What You Started. Just not many. Oh, and I keep forgetting to write up a review, which was part of the project, so generally speaking the project hasn't been a raving success.

In fact, not only hasn't it been a raving success, but I've also started and stalled in the middle of at least three or four other books since I decided to make a dent in the already large number of works I haven't finished. I kinda suck at this.

Anyway, I managed to knock off a couple of Edgar Rice Burroughs books along the way, so I may as well review 'em both and get it over with.

Many long years ago I had picked up a couple of Tarzan books at a library weeding sale, and promptly forgotten that they existed. Then, one holiday, I picked up one of them to see what this Tarzan business was all about.

It was Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, which is the eleventh book in the series. To be perfectly honest, the eleventh book is not the best introduction to Tarzan. I got about halfway through it, but didn't really "get" it, and then moved on to other books.

Then, a couple of years ago, I suddenly caught Tarzan fever. I can't really explain it, but I just fell for the character big time. I started collecting the movies and researching the history of the character (I think, at last count, I had at least fifteen Tarzan films from different eras - not including the first RKO serial) and decided to go back to where it all began - Edgar Rice Burrough's Tarzan of the Apes. One library in town stocked it, and I held onto it for much longer than I should have.

I was fascinated by the difference between the Tarzan of the novels and the Tarzan of the films, and suddenly more interested than ever in seeing where the books took the character. As there were no more Tarzan books in the library, and I couldn't locate the ones I owned, I hopped onto the Interwebs. I had already read ERB's The Lost World, and I thought I might try one of his other series while I was spending money. So, I ordered Tarzan Returns (which became one of my favourite books of all time) and A Princess of Mars - the first book in the John Carter series.

Tarzan Returns was a corker of a book, and someone would make me very happy if they would film it as a mini series (as long as they did a decent job). A Princess of Mars didn't really do it for me, though. I took it with me on a camping trip, thinking an ERB novel would be a great way to while away the time. However, It wasn't exactly gripping. I got about a third of the way into it, but then put it down and didn't bother picking it up again.

Until I decided to Finish What I Started.

Princes of Mars

I managed to pick up the story again fairly well after ignoring the book for a year:

Civil War cavalryman John Carter escapes Indians by hiding in a cave, when gets mysteriously transported through space by some kind of magical mental deportation thingy. He finds himself stark naked on Mars, where he discovers he has superpowers due to the fact that he was raised on Earth, with Earth gravity, and the lesser gravity of Mars makes him super strong and capable of leaping over tall buildings in a single bound (remember, folks, ERB thought of it first). Well, maybe not tall buildings, but he can still jump fairly high.

He encounters one of the Martian species - a race of big, green giants with four arms and hearts hardened by years of battle and senseless brutality. He accidentally manages to kill a Martian chieftain, and is given the rank and station of the fallen chief. He is then adopted by the Green Martians as a half chieftain/half pet thing while they work out if their bizarre code of honour allows them to kill him without getting into a "proper" fight first. They take him back to their "city", which turns out to be the ruins of a city built by a race which died out long ago.

While there, he encounters a Red Martian - a girl from another Martian species that is more or less human - only red. She is, of course, a princess and, of course, naked - as are they all (I can't help but wonder if ERB did the naked thing just for the sake of pulpy book covers, but I expect the excessive nudity might make filming the book difficult). The girl is the captive of the Green Martians, who treat her unkindly (because that's how they treat everyone). John rushes to her rescue, "accidentally" killing another Green chieftain as he does. By this time, he has managed to teach himself how to speak Martian (not dissimilar to Tarzan teaching himself to read), so he can communicate with the girl...

Oh, blah, blah, blah. He falls in love with her. She keeps him at arms length. There are battles between different factions of both Green and Red Martians. The would-be lovers argue over cultural differences. They get separated and despair of ever seeing each other alive. John manages to make friends with at least one Martian in every camp. There's a big battle with a warlord which involves a daring rescue of the princess. The 19th Century cavalryman manages to fly Red Martian fighter-jets without difficulty. He gets the girl and saves the day. They get married and live happily ever after...

Except the big machine that controls the weather is sabotaged, and everyone starts dying from lack of oxygen. Our hero races to the machine to save his beloved family, only to feel a strange tug on his being, as he is magically mentally teleported back to his body on Earth, which has been lying in a death-like state in a cave in Arizona for ten years. He now has new magical powers, that seem to involve not aging, and longs to find a way to teleport himself back to Mars.

It all sounds terribly exciting, doesn't it? And yet, somehow, it reads like Wells' The Time Traveller without the good bits.

Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle

Now, Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle was a different matter. There were many things in the novel I understood now, having read the first two books in the series, and the rest of it didn't need much explanation because I knew what to expect from this world.

It had been too many years since I started reading the book, so I had to go back to the beginning, but this time 'round I found it a fun book to read.

There are these two Amercian hunters on vacation in Africa - one's a middle aged jerk, and the other is a nice young man who is starting to realise his friend is a jerk. There's also a band of Arabs making their way to the hidden city of Nimmr (what is with the secret hidden cities in the middle of Africa? Wasn't Opar enough?), accompanied by their slaves who are looking for a chance to escape and get back to their tribal homes - which, conveniently enough, are located not far from the ancient hidden city of Nimmr. It's the intention of the Arabs to steal all of Nimmr's treasure and, possibly, the most beautiful woman in the world (according to the legends).

The two Americans have a falling out and go their separate ways. The jerk manages to tick off everyone in the jungle (including Tarzan), so his hired men abandon him in the middle of nowhere and he survives by accidentally stumbling onto the group of Arabs (who have also managed to tick off Tarzan). The nice young man is well supported by his hired men, but manages to get himself lost after a lion attack and a lightning storm. He survives by accidentally stumbling onto the ancient hidden city of Nimmr.

Nimmr, as it turns out, is actually one of two cities in a well defended and easily missed valley in the middle of the heart of Africa - both of which are populated by knights and ladies of the medieval variety. Apparently, during the crusades, a group of knights managed to find their way to this valley. They then got into a disagreement as to whether or not they had completed their crusade and found the Holy Thing They Were Looking For. One group said they had found it, and wanted to declare "mission accomplished" and go home. The other group wanted to keep going and refused to let those quitters go back. They set up camp at one of the only two ways out of the valley and refused to let anyone pass. To spite them, the quitters set up camp at the other exit and refused to let anyone pass at that end, either.

And so, for several centuries, generation after generation of inbred knights lived their medieval lifestyle in this hidden valley while holding two things as being absolute truths: The outside world is full of evil Saracens who must not come in, and those dudes on the other side of the valley are stupid losers who must not pass.

When James (the nice young man) stumbled into Nimmr, he had a hell of a time trying to convince them he wasn't a Saracen. Then he had a hell of a time trying to convince them the Saracens aren't surrounding them and they aren't coming. Then he had a hell of a time trying to convince them that the crusades were long over and the rest of the world has sort of moved on. In the meantime, he managed to fall in love with the princess (as you do) and get himself accepted as one of the knights (as you do). The princess was, of course, the most beautiful woman in the world...

Meanwhile, the Saracens actually were coming in the form of those nasty, sneaky, thieving Arabs. They managed to break into the other city on the other side of the valley while everyone was playing tournaments in the middle of the valley. However, the kind of the other city kidnapped the princess, which prompted James to rush to the rescue, which revealed the whole "the Saracens are coming!" thing...

Meanwhile Tarzan was busy jumping around between the various groups, rescuing people who needed rescuing, threatening people who needed threatening, and eventually bringing his own "army" (the Waziri) to chase off those nasty, sneaky, thieving Arabs.

It should probably be pointed out that this book was written in 1927, and isn't exactly politically correct by today's standards. If you aren't American or English (or maybe French), the Tarzan novels will probably not be on your list of "books that treat my racial/religious group with respect".

I can't remember how it ended. The bad guys got their comeuppance, of course, and the various estranged lovers (there were also a couple of star-crossed lovers in the Arabs' camp) found a way to be together, and Tarzan went back to roaming about the jungle looking for things to do. Does it really matter exactly how these things were accomplished?

Ugly websites are not to be trusted...

Hmm...

I think I'm starting to turn into some kind of design snob.

I found a very useful article on Krashen's Input Hypothesis using Google, which took me directly to the pdf, so I had to trace the thing backwards to find out what journal it came from.

Having found its "home", I'm suddenly wracked with doubt over the validity of the article because, well, the website is ugly.

It's some sort of US/Chinese linguistic thingy that looks for all the world like it's trying to sell me a dodgy language course.

You know the kind of site I mean? Whoever designs them clearly believes in dazzling people with pointless colours and big balloony fonts, and deep down you just don't know if there's actually any substance there at all...

I'm looking at this site and thinking: "What are you trying to sell me and why should I start backing away?" rather than: "My, this looks like a place where I could find information to aid my scholarly pursuits."

And yet, it's an online journal with issue numbers and everything - supposedly even peer reviewed - and the articles (once you get out of the web page), seem pretty sound...

It's just ugly, and for some reason I instinctively mistrust it.

Nothing more to say?

I swear I haven't read anything new in the last few weeks. Everyone seems to be saying the same things, only in different words.

I could happily sum up the last few articles I've read on Extensive Reading/Narrow Reading and Repeated Reading thus:

"He said this. She said that. I did a study using a statistically insignificant group of people and a dodgy methodology. I found nothing conclusive, but it looked like this and that are both possibly true".

Is this because nothing new has happened in the field? Or is it because everyone keeps citing themselves?

Matching Books to Readers?

So, following yet another tangent that probably won't help me with my thesis, I borrowed a book called Matching Books to Readers, which is actually aimed at teachers of lower primary classrooms - the K-3 set.

I tell myself there's some cross over because I am looking at reading programmes and language learning and there is always the suggestion that using the books/programmes children use to learn a first language can help with learning a second language (which is half true and half bunk - children have an advantage that SLL don't have, in that they already speak the language with some skill before they try reading it)...

Anyway, the thing that struck me about the book more than anything else was its design. It's a larger page size than most of the other books I've been using. The font is bigger and "softer". There are more pictures. Oh, and the vocabulary is simpler (something not really part of the design, but hey). The other book I've used which was aimed at primary school children was very similar in its design.

This reminds me of books I used to use when I was studying Education, and I've finally noticed something: books written for teachers of different levels are designed differently.

You go and take a look at a book that's intended for a primary school teacher - not for them to use in class, but for their own education. Then look at a book aimed at a high school teacher, and one aimed at a university lecturer. There's a definite change in look, tone and complexity of language across the levels.

This is interesting, because a 48 year old teacher is a 48 year old with at least one university level degree, right? It doesn't matter what year they teach, they're still an educated adult. Why would book designers assume one 48 year old university graduate needs bigger, prettier fonts and more pictures than another 48 year old university graduate, just because the students they teach are at different ages and stages of education?

Why does John Smith, Year 2 teacher, have a bigger page with a larger text size than John Smith, university lecturer?

The Song o' Cap'n Sam

I blame my boss for this one. It shall be sung upon request, but everyone has to join in on the chorus.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

Oh, come me hearties and listen to me
And I'll tell you a tale of the library
And a pirate who gave up the seven seas
To captain a reference desk.
His pirate heart was courageous and true
But he loved to answer a question or two
And so he decided the best thing to do
Was to give up the ocean
And all that commotion
And captain a reference desk.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

Back in his days as a bloodthirsty brute
He'd ask lots of questions to track down his loot
But then he decided a better pursuit
Was helping out eager young minds.
He went back to school and he got a degree -
A Masters in the Science of Libraries -
And moved to a city that's by the sea
And found some employment
That gives him enjoyment
By helping out eager young minds

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

A pirate librarian's life can be hard
There's lots of bad habits you have to discard
And there are some lib'ries from which he was barred
For running the customers through.
And some of his co-workers thought he was rude
His language was salty, insulting and crude -
His jokes about wenches were awfully lewd
And his reputation
Spread throughout the nation
For running his customers through.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

Then he found work in a strange little town
Where lots of peculiar librarians are found
Magicians, snake charmers and jugglers abound
And a gorilla named Algernon.
And no body minds if he's violent and crude
Or cares if he's heavily pierced and tattooed
And now he's a happy piratical dude
And he's sharing a flat
With a shelver called Matt
And a gorilla named Algernon.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

And now if you go to that town by the sea
And happen to visit the library
Don't be surprised if a pirate you see
When you go to the reference desk.
He'll answer your queries with quiet command
And a flash of his smile and a wave of his hand
The most dashing librarian in all the land
And it gives him pleasure
To help you find treasure
When you go to the reference desk.

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

It's Cap'n Sam, Cap'n Sam
The Pirate Librarian
He'll tell you what you need to know
And help you if he can

Trailers for Books?

This book apparently has a "trailer":

http://www.katherineneville.com/neville-fire-trailer2.htm

Funny, I always thought these things were called "ads"...

Stephen Krashen Likes to Cite Himself

Stephen Krashen likes to cite himself. That sounds vaguely distasteful, really, but I suppose one day I'll probably be citing myself too.

It doesn't help that he seems to be the most prolific writer in his field, and that pretty much everyone else who has written on his topics has written with him as a co-author.

Still, it starts to get a bit ridiculous when you're reading an article Krashen co-authored in 2004, and it keeps citing the articles he wrote in 1989, 1991, 1997 and 2002...

It gets even more ridiculous when you're reading an article that wasn't exactly written by him, but they still cite all of his previous articles – and then you realise they co-authored a couple of those articles with him...

Seriously, can someone else please write about Extensive and Narrow Reading in Second Language studies? And, I know this might be hard, but could you try to avoid citing more than one article by Krashen? The universe needs the balance.