Monday, July 7, 2014

Lancelot mused a little space

He said "she has a lovely face.  God in his mercy lend her grace - the Lady of Shalott".

Shut up Lancelot.  You're a jerk and nobody likes you.

You know, you can't go around acting like a first class cad for most of the old texts and expect to get away with being everyone's favourite Arthurian hero.  For my money, you'll never be a patch on Gareth.  But does everyone talk about Gareth?  Does anyone talk about Gareth?  No.

And you went and killed him, didn't you?  Here was a knight who was *actually* chivalrous, rather than just being a smug git with an attitude problem, and you go and kill him.  And Gaheris, who was just hanging around Gareth (which seems to be all he really did - hang around with other, more interesting knights).  And Agravaine, but quite frankly he should have expected that - after all, he tried dobbing you into the king for being the first class tosser that you are.

And did you even apologise to their family?  Did you say something like, "hey, Gawaine, I'm really sorry about killing three of your brothers because they got in my way?"

No.  No you did not.

So, you know what, Lancelot?  I don't wanna hear whatever you have to say about the "Lady of Shalott" - especially since we all know that poem was a sanitised version of the Fair Made of Astolat, and you led her on, broke her heart and then acted all surprised when she topped herself.

Jerk.

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