My Scathingly Brilliant Idea

"I've got it!" I said proudly, declaring my genius to everyone in the room. Sadly, that consisted of the cat and me. "It's perfect! Everything will work! All I have to do is convince my boss to create a job that doesn't exist and hire me for it."

As often happens in my life, I'm facing an unnecessary choice between several things that all seem like really good options. Unfortunately, they can't co-exist.

On the one hand, I really like my job. I love being a librarian. I specifically love being a liaison librarian at an academic library. I also love working with the people I'm currently working with, and although I think the institution I'm currently working for could do with a bit of work, I'm don't mind working here at all. So, staying exactly where I am and doing exactly what I'm doing seems to be a pretty good option.

Except that, I would also like to get another job at another library in one of the capital cities. When I first took this job my boss suggested it would be good for my career if I looked at staying here for a couple of years and then working at another academic library, and I thought that sounded like a pretty good plan. I still think it sounds like a pretty good plan - particularly as I like the idea of moving to Brisbane or Melbourne for a couple of years.

On top of that, I also want to go back to studies. Specifically, I want to study a language degree majoring in German. There are a couple of universities that offer part-time Diplomas in Modern Languages, which I could possibly do via distance education and would take about three years to complete. In theory, I could do those wherever I happened to be working...

BUT...

But I have seen the course I want to do, and I don't think I can do it via distance education. I don't even know if I want to do it via distance education. It's a brilliant three-year full-time Bachelor of Languages programme that offers all sorts of delicious subjects in Linguistics including such treasures as Traditional Grammar and Phonetics of Spoken Language along with literature subjects in the target language. I could do Classic Literature and Modern Theatre! As well as the actual "learning the language" subjects!

You can't do that in the part-time Diploma programmes. And while I believe you probably could undertake a course like that via distance education, it would be so much better to actually be on campus and talk to the lecturers and tutors face-to-face - as well as interacting with the other students. The evening course I'm doing at the moment has reminded me how beneficial sitting in a classroom with other human beings can be.

Only...

Only I'd have to be physically located in Canberra in order to undertake this course. Over the years I have previously wanted to live in Canberra. I almost got a job there at least twice (only each time I ended up choosing another job somewhere else). At the moment, though, it's not ticking my boxes for a place I want to live in. The thought of living in Brisbane fills my mind with interesting possibilities. Ditto for Melbourne. Sydney not so much, but I think I could make it work. Canberra, though, currently filling me with a sense of "eh". It's too much like Townsville without having the things I love about Townsville, and none of the things I've been hoping to get involved with in Brisbane.

But still, every time I think of that course, I start salivating.

Only...

Only I'd have to find a job in Canberra. And if I'm studying full time, I'd have to work part time. And getting part time work as a librarian isn't that easy in this present economic climate. And I love being a librarian.

Then it came to me - my brilliant idea. You see, where I work we used to have a position that involved providing liaison support to off-campus and micro-campus students. When the guy who held that position shifted into a new position, his job was disbanded. That is, all of the liaison librarians took on the role of supporting those students, instead of having someone who was specifically there as their first contact point.

I've often thought it would be nice if we brought that role back and expanded it, so that the off-campus/micro-campus liaison would actually create and deliver Information Literacy Training specifically designed for students whose main contact with the library was completely remote. We currently do a little bit of that, but it's not a major focus.

Now, in theory, a position could be created which involved creating and delivering online and remote IL training and information and research support. This position could be a part-time consideration operated in the afternoons (when distance students who work full time will be home and looking at their assignments) and, since the role involves helping students who aren't actually on campus, there would be no real need for the person filling this role to be on campus either.

I could, in theory, work remotely during semester time and come back to touch base during the inter-semester weeks. I could also be physically on the campus where I work during O-Week to help with the training, so I wouldn't be completely dead weight. That way I would still, sort of, be working here with these lovely people, while at the same time doing this course I want to do.

So now all I have to do is convince my bosses to create a position that they probably don't want to make and hire me for it even though it would mean they have to fill my current position with someone else - all in order to make life easier for me. What do you think my chances are?

The trouble with working in a library...

I had a strange desire to see if we had any books by H. Rider Haggard in the library so that I might try reading one.

Then I remembered that I own a copy of King Solomon's Mines which I've never gotten around to reading...

Stairs

"Go up those stairs," I say, pointing to the stairs to which I refer, "and go right down to that side of the building," I continue, pointing to the side of the building I'm talking about.

The stairs to which I refer are to my right. I think raising my right arm and stretching it out to the right of me as I point directly at the stairs (which can be seen from where I am sitting and, more importantly, can be seen from where the patron is sitting) is a reasonably clear indication of which flight of stairs I mean.

"Go upstairs and go down that side of the building?" the patron asks, in confirmation.

"Yes, that's right," I say, still waving my right hand towards the stairs which are on my right.

"Okay," she says, and promptly walks over to the other flight of stairs - the one to the left of me, and walks up those stairs instead.

I admit those stairs are closer to where we are currently sitting, but they are not closer to her goal. In fact, had she taken the flight of stairs I had indicated (which she should have been able to see from her position), she would have been on the same side of the building as the book she sought. It would have been a simple matter to walk down to the relevant section. By taking the stairs on my left, she doubled the distance she would have to travel and gave herself more opportunities to get confused along the way.

She is not the first person to watch me point to the stairs on my right, and then take the stairs on my left. I have seen it happen many a time, as has every single one of my colleagues.

I just don't get it. Are they so blinded by the "big" staircase that they cannot fathom the existence of another? Do they think we would send them the longer way if a shorter one existed? Do they have a problem with recognising the direction our fingers are pointing?

Is it possible they simply don't understand what we mean when we point at something? If that is so, then will they also go to the wrong part of the building to look for their books?

I fear I know the answer to that question, and it makes me wonder about the human gene pool.